Life as I knew it would forever be changed

      

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.

Exodus 20:12

Just the thought of moving from the home you have know for over 35 years has to be more than unsettling, however for someone with dementia I'm sure it's downright scary.
Leaving the familiar, going to the unknown but greater still knowing you are  giving up your last bit of independence is enough to case complete fear.
I know how I felt leaving my family home after 25 years and starting over and even with my latest move just being there for 9 years was unsettling for me.  It was my Haven, my safe place, the place I knew God had placed me in to heal.  I still sit on my back porch now and look next door at the porch I sat on and I want to go running back home. Carter still points to it and calls it home.  To him we are living in Michelle's house.  So no matter your age we are most comfortable with what id familiar to us.
I knew the conversation with my parents... mostly my dad was not going to be an easy one, even though he had said he would move if my mama wanted to.  He had said that so many times and each time Mary would prepared for the move he would change his mind.
I went to talk with them on Sunday.  The conversation was very civil.  My dad was in a calm and clear headed state of mind.  He expressed how he just wasn't ready to move.  I cried with him because I could feel all the emotions he was feeling.  He knew they weren't doing well on their on, even with Haleigh's help however, that had been his home for so long and as a man it was difficult to come to a point to admit you could no longer take care of yourself or your wife. 
We made a deal, that we would begin with clean up the house and boxing things that weren't being used and start the process slowly so when the time came, we would be ready.
I've found it's always good to allow dad to make decisions on his terms.  It helps him feel he is still in control and less stressful on me.
Now I must admit, I wasn't completely disappointed the the move was not happening immediately.
I was still deeply grieving Mary and my dad spoke nothing of her, mama consoled me with my grief but could only talk about missing her calls.  I knew they couldn't help it but I felt angry inside.  I felt I was alone in grieving my sister.  My house had boxes all over the place.  I just wasn't ready mentally or physically,
A few days later, I got the call my parents were ready to move so I knew I had to act immediately so my dad didn't change his mind.  I sent Megan and Haleigh to start gathering the necessities and to take the bed apart and get it loaded.  When I got to their house, Megan was standing outside, bed on truck, and informed me... Papoo said he's not going. 
Michelle was with me and she has an unique way of talking to my dad.  I let her talk with him and eventually he gave in and a new chapter in all our lives was to begin.
Mama was happy... she was ready for the new adventure... Dad was completely disoriented.
The house got crazy, room being set up, people talking loud, Carter was over stimulated and all over the place and my anxiety was out the roof.  The lack of chaos and quiet is best to keep my anxiety under control.  It wasn't happening and the more I begin to think that I was now totally responsible for 2 adults, I thought I would pass out.   Everyone's world had just been placed on a roller coaster and the unknown was more than I could mentally handle.  I watched my dad and I think he was in the same state of mind. 
Once everyone was finally settled for the night, I sat in the living room a little while in the quiet and I listened as my parents talked.  I could only cry.  My dad to continued to ask mama... where are we... who's house is this... who lives here... do we live here now.  He could not make sense of any of it.  My mama patiently answered his questions each time he asked but even she could not help him grasp his new world.  As I cried for him, I prayed for God to just allow him to go to sleep and hopefully tomorrow it would all make sense.
Life as I knew it would forever be changed.

"Know the state of your flocks and
put your heart into caring for your herds"  

Proverbs 27:23